I was the proudest sister in the world.
You were cool
smart
popular.
You were strong
and I wanted to be
just
like you.

You never let mom wear you down
even when the alcohol wouldn't let her stand on her own anymore.
You were my hero and you were only 12 years old.

But somewhere along the line you disappeared.
Maybe it was after you moved out, or the first time you got arrested.
You abandoned me and I was only 12 years old.

I stood up for you as long as I could
and I love my niece with everything in me
but my hero no longer exists.

Slowly you let your habits eat you alive
and I can't find the life in you, for the life of me.
RIP to my big brother.