ignite the cold, slick lump in my stomach whose
body is dread, tell me i’m pretty and
then hide my makeup---feed
the red-tubed lipstick to the dog---praise
my muscled calves.
          (my you’ve done a lot of walking in your soul today.)

do not notice the slight limp or pale puckered lips.

do not weep and then claim it was joy, it was fiendishness
all along i know it, and so does your cloven foot.

i crawl naked to my bunker, fortress of fleece blankets, leave one foot exposed.
it cannot split
leave me the hell alone.
so just leave me all ******* alone.