i said i'm sorry i said i wanted to come home i said i loved you the world is so ****** up why the **** did i leave you why in hell did i make you leave why did we paint the kitchen wall yellow it looks horrible. **** this **** this all. baby i want you back--i love you; i love the way you smell like fire, i love the way you used to look at me when you thought i wasn't looking at you (i am always looking at you); darling i love you like i loved the way my mother would watch my father come home from the gym all sweaty and gross and would tell him she'd still choose him over brad pitt even if he looked and smelled like this all the time, and i love you more than my dad loved my mother every time she told him that and **** sweetheart--****** ******* hell i do not know why i didn't look at you more often or why i didn't bring you breakfast in bed or why i smiled at that boy at the subway station two days ago (maybe because he had your eyes) and i smoked hundred-and-seventy-two cigarettes since you left even though i quit two years ago and i spent all my money on things i'd never let you buy because "they were useless" and ****, sweetheart, i miss you and i don't know why i didn't appreciate the way you sung under the shower (very out of tune) because every morning i wait for you to start singing that ******* jason mraz song (i'm yours) before i realise you're not going to ******* sing it because you're not ******* here and you're not ******* mine (i'm still yours).