As I pull the blade across my already torn and tattered wrist…
I bite my lip and wonder…has anyone else ever felt like this?
No…of course not…and I push it from my mind…
As the blade erases everything from my mind,
And as my blood starts to flow the memories fade away…
Nothing else matters when I feel this way.
I breathe a sigh of relief as this amazing release takes hold…
Why can't anyone else understand this?

It's a "bad thing" or so I've been told.
But the bad thing is the only thing…
The thing that keeps me sane.
The blade is always there searching for willing flesh to play its evil little game.
And I a willing partner…
I never say no.
It's a giver and a taker…
And I am firmly in its hold.
It never lets me down…
It always eases the pain…
But sometimes I wonder if I've gone too far…
Just what is the blood washing away?
Is it pain?  Is it sin?
Is it every evil, dark and ugly thing I hold deep within?
I am not sure and it never tells…
Its secrets…like mine are condemning to hell.