God runs a carnival With a test of strength Right by the gate If you ring the bell, You get a stuffed animal And free admission. Just past the ticket taker, There on the left, Is an old carousel Painted ponies preening, Careening the children astride Mirrors by their heads Flashing the crowd's smiles As they glide Forever and ever amen. The ground is littered with ticket stubs From a raffle they had earlier, And despite the crying losers And the broken boozers I can't see the person who won. Just billions of blue ripped ribbons Carrying call numbers For the lottery of a life time, While the rest of us are left To brave the creaking tilt-a-whirl Assembled by two clowns out on bail One roll of duct tape and a promise not to fail This time. As the fire eaters and game cheaters Line the midway Barking promises of heavenly repose If only you can hit the elephant's nose With a jet of water, streaming Into its beaming mouth, Grinning despite your loss Try again, kid. Better luck next time. You'll wander into the hall of mirrors To see your sins grow and bulge Like the battle that rages In the pages of your gold-leafed heart Thin enough to tear So take care to mend Your broken ways Or you'll find yourself Climbing onto the Ferris wheel To sit on high And by God, You can see your house from here And down and around And you're bound to lose your lunch So you'll pay too much for a bunch of frozen Fries and to your surprise Sweet mercy, manna from heaven. Even though you don't know what it is, You gobble it up Because you don't wanna go to hell, But you have to get the hell away from that bell Ringing and ringing over and over Chiming in time to the line that winds Out through the dark parking lot, Every winner another sinner Washed clean by the lamb And ******* A petting zoo Never felt so good. If you ring that bell, You won't go to hell, But you won't go to heaven either. Oh no. You'll go to work Tearing tickets 'til you're sick of it, Bending mirrors in the fun house To split and bounce And reflect onto the patron That part of your heart Too broken to pump, Running the tilt-a-whirl with a burly Bouncer who got up early To **** his wife And this ain't a life sentence, Baby, it's eternity. I guess that's what you get For trusting a ******' carnie.