Today I suppose I put on a facade like we're hosting a play excluding emotions. Or maybe I'll just act a game of charades that only I am aware of completely and everyone else can decipher the commotions that play in my head like a movie on repeat because I don't want to tell them straigh. It just hurts worse and I can't be discreet. I could rant and rave until it's all let out and I still wouldn't feel right. Here I don't feel safe. Why can't I have warmth in the burrow of your arms at night? Well I ruined that and can't have much more and I live with regrets of things I've done before. Things could be different if I knew how to forget the things that I've had in my life that treat me like their pet... Treated me like their SLAVE, like they were my master and no one could save me from myself or the others.... And here I sit in the end wondering why anyone bothers....