I've become attracted to pain
the pain the world feels
the pain i cause others
the pain you caused me
it's my drug
to shoot into bruised viens
making my heart race
my blood turning to lead
you see things that don't exist
people that aren't there
I'm addicted
but not in the traditional sense
i try to stay away
but it's a magnetic pull
a fault in my stars
a genetic defect of sorts
the imbalance of chemicals in my brain
i try to avoid the pain
like an alcoholic avoids sobriety
happiness creeps back
but theres always a high before the low
it's the low that has me
i crave it
the pain leaves my limbs weak
my eyes dark
but it never disappoints
it wraps me in its hold
promising to be there
when the high is too high