I have a silly notion
That if I say it aloud it will come true.
That if I say it to you, you'll listen.
But I've been shouting 'I love you' even before I knew what it truly meant. I think I have already fallen I just didn't know yet.
I have lost so many glances In Your Way and every time I look for them I hyperventilate at how close I'm getting towards you.
There was never a moment you were never inside my thoughts and I think I would have to clean this vast room because there's too much You.. My mind wasn't aware but looking back, every action I made was to get your attention. The shame and embarrassment I felt would have been worth it if you reciprocated.
Now I'm older and I'm still figuring out why i find so much comfort in tear-stained pillows and soaked sheets and why pieces of me are scattered around the floor like my clothes. And that's how I feel. Like a piece of clothing discarded because it just doesn't look good. I know I'm not much of a looker but darling, if only you saw. If only you saw the way I looked at you like you were God and I prayed so hard that you would notice me. Then it wouldn't have mattered much, would it?
I'm still figuring out which bone I would have to break so that I would fit into the mold you seem to find your type in.
Now I'm older and I still haven't found the answers and I still have not gotten over you.
Now I'm older and I still have a silly notion.