stop thinking you know me
because you don't
no one does
stop saying i'm not comfortable with myself
stop saying i don't love myself
stop saying i can't do things alone
i hate it
but the thing is you're right
i'm not comfortable with myself
i don't love myself
i can't do things alone
i just don't want anyone to know
i don't want to go back to the hospital
i don't want to be crazy
i don't want to disappoint everyone again
because i know that if i tell you what i think
i would need to go back
i would be crazy
i would disappoint you
that's what hurts the most
you're right even if i don't want to admit it
so i don't
i tell you you're wrong
but you can see i'm lying
you've seen me when i'm most vulnerable
you've seen me at my weakest point
you gagged me to keep me alive
you know me
and i hate it
you know i'm crazy
you know i belong in the hospital
but you don't want to admit it either
you don't want another person in your family crazy
we all are
but i'm the golden child, aren't i?
no.
i'm just like the rest of our family
crazy
hurting
insane
mental
i know all this
and so do you