And here I am again, holding my breath on the wrong end of a phone line that just rings. Where are you? I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to sleep.
And now I fear I shall never sleep. My mind is shaking violently and my body has started to follow. I can feel the heat of the tears building behind my eyes, painful and bitter. I bite back on my tongue to keep the moans from coming, and whimper instead.
How could I let you bring me to this again, after everything? What a fool I have been to allow myself to fall prey to your words, lulling me into submission with your sirens call. If this all seems familiar, my Friend, it is because it is. All too familiar.
Maybe if I try again? Maybe she was just away from the phone or the ringer was silent… But there is just the ringing again, and each tone sounds more like a cold laugh than the one before it. I should not let myself feel this way. There is no reason. There is no reason. But that doesn’t make it go away and it doesn’t end the ringing and it doesn’t quiet the laughter and it doesn’t set my heart at ease…
Where are you? Why aren’t you answering? Is someone there with you? I wish it was me, because I live for the sound of your laugh but I don’t want to feel this way ever again because this is how I'm always left when I give what's left to you! Alone in the dark, waiting to hear your voice….