Do I still love you? With every harsh rejection, every brutal truth you offered, every single time that you kept yourself stingily from me, I forgave you in a single breath. No one understood how I could endure, least of all you. You tried your damnedest to keep that wall up. But I refuse to be labeled as "just another one" locked away and hidden in some secret file. You're going to remember me as the girl who loved you the most. Even in your despicable moments, I never gave up. I never walked away. Through your disappearing acts, your hurtful words, your avoidance of serious topics, your ****** fantasies. I kept my rare, fondest memories of your softer self. I just kept smiling through the trials knowing that this was the dark side you let guard you. And that if I dug deep enough, I'd find your warm smile and carefree laughter to set them free again.

I do not cringe upon hearing or reading your name. Instead, I whisper softly, tenderly, "I love you, Barrett."

I do not avoid places where we might converge. Instead, I look for you in crowded spaces for the chance to see your face.

I do not curse you and wish you karmic revenge. Instead, I wish for you nothing less than love and inner peace.

Do I still love you?
The answer is always the same.
I love you for reasons you could not possibly conceive.