how we must hurt
to grow
how we must be gettin old
and early
drink more and talk less
urges to mutilate
urges to disintegrate
the body that's
on loan from the parents

wanted to follow but
the rain wouldn't let me
the wake
the commune
and finally-
the rest
an abbreviated death
as cold as I can make it
so I can walk like Lazarus
in a gray shadow of dawn

so I can surprise you as
easily as I did myself
so I could bring tea
to your daylight
window