At home
Alone
At school
Alone
Surrounded by people yet still so alone
I'm not sure why I hide myself
Maybe I think people wouldn't like the real me
So I bottle it all up inside
And very few people have seen into the black pit I call my soul
My best friend
My girlfriend
Certain close friends
But that's all
Everyone else sees what I want them to see
Even my family
They wouldn't understand the darkness roiling inside of me
That sporadically bubbles to the surface and takes control
They just think I'm having a bad day
Or something may have happened
They don't know that what they're seeing is only the tip of the ever-present iceberg
That no matter what I do to try and make it go away
The best I can do is cope
And hide it
And try not to let out
This beast I keep caged inside
For fear that I may never be able to cage it again if I do
There are only three people I know that I think could bring me back if I got that far
But I don't want to ever have to test that theory
What if they can't bring me back
What if they lose me
What if I lose myself...