i'm concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, but we're still throwing the fight.
but i just wanna believe, i just wanted to believe,
i just won't believe, in us.

because there's a lump in my throat,
and i'd rather it be cancer than tears.
because there are tears in my eyes,
but i'd rather go blind than cry for you.

and then there's this portion of my heart,
it beats faster than the others, you see.
but i'd rather it be a defect than be from you,
and all of our talked about, moonlit dreams.

there are walls around my heart,
locked doors inside my head.
i'd rather choke on the key,
than hand it over again.

oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
and i know we loved it, fed on it.
we would've bathed in it,
given the chance.

we are entirely smooth.
slick with tears, [and blood, too]
we admit to the truth.
we are the best at what we do.

tell me, what did we do?
what did we do to deserve such a mess?
thrown together and pulled apart,
we are the most vile of verbal arts.

after all, these are our words.
we wish we wrote them down,
but they'll have to do for awhile.
at least until we figure us out.

this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
at two in the morning, or hell, even six.
this is the way we wish we could say:
****, i love you. don't let us melt away.