whenever someone asks me what's wrong with me,
I usually am honest enough to say that I'm lonely.
then they spill out their usual spiel about
how they love me,
how they care about me,
how they're always there for me,
how I shouldn't feel lonely,
and I know all of this.
I've said this myself quite a number of times.
and I accept this and thank them genuinely.
because it's not what they deserve, I truly to thank them and am thankful to be surround by these sort of people.
but, the thing about this is, I never mean lonely the way they take it as.
i mean lonely in the "i want someone to love me in the way that only that one person and I can comprehend."
I see these relationships be formed, and the love that these two people share, and I look at that, and I think to myself
"I want that."
then I proceed to break down and cry for thirty seconds and I continue on my merry way, but that's irrelevant.
these people look so truly happy that they have found someone to love them for who they are, flaws and all, and I mean, I feel happy for them, but part of me gets truly jealous.
not for the thought that I'm attracted to one party or another,
but because I'm jealous they share that love.