she wrote out a to do list

on the corner of a college rejection letter

and tried to tell herself that her list

(1. get his smell off your skin)

was as easy as they used to be


she waited until midnight

and the moon lit her up with light

(and she thought, “God,

just like his skin")


she scrubbed his fingerprints off the shower head

and she felt the water break her

(like being underneath his skin)

and she watched as the scalding heat

turned her into a blood-shaped girl


she saw him on the steps of his house

(as she definitely did not drive past at this hour)

and she touched the skin of her knee

and smoothed down her skirt

and never saw him again when he wasn’t there