she wrote out a to do list
on the corner of a college rejection letter
and tried to tell herself that her list
(1. get his smell off your skin)
was as easy as they used to be
she waited until midnight
and the moon lit her up with light
(and she thought, “God,
just like his skin")
she scrubbed his fingerprints off the shower head
and she felt the water break her
(like being underneath his skin)
and she watched as the scalding heat
turned her into a blood-shaped girl
she saw him on the steps of his house
(as she definitely did not drive past at this hour)
and she touched the skin of her knee
and smoothed down her skirt
and never saw him again when he wasn’t there