there is a moment, when i'm in the shower
and i slowly begin to turn the silver handle to cold
i can feel the two extremes beating down against my skin
opposite temperatures battling for control of the small space
half of my body is braving an arctic winter
while the other half retreats, only to find the fires of pompeii
the two sides meet in the middle, and i smile at their contradictions
it is in these moments that i begin to understand my own life
the war waging inside of me is not dissimilar to this
my love of art and love of stability threaten to extinguish each other
leaving me with a love for nothing
i turn off the shower and collapse to the tile
i will make my decision tomorrow
but today i am a fallen soldier,
another casualty in a war of my own making