Most kids are excited to turn 21 to drink and go to the bar. Not me, I can do that now. I’m excited to be old enough to foster a child. That’s gonna be truly amazing I think. I really can’t stand this house. I’ve always been trapped in it. The doors are unlocked, but still I’m trapped. I feel as if I can’t escape. It’s always one thing after another. My mom just blocked my phone 11-6 again. What the hell is that gonna do? I’m gonna be 18 in a month. They think I’m gonna wake up one day and forgive them and think that they were always right. But it’s never gonna happen. I was raised to be both racist and homophobic, and to their disappointment, I will never be either. Someday I may regret my gauges, who knows? But right now I love them. I think the only things I will truly ever regret are the things that caused me heartache. Not just stupid physical observations. And yeah I’m immature. “You can’t be young forever, but you can be immature forever”. My parents will never understand me. All they will ever see in me is what they dislike. My hair color. My dark clothing. My multiple ear piercings. My “immaturity”. My bad grades, my foul language. But the truth is, none of these things are really flaws in myself. They’re all part of what makes me, me. I’m beautiful and there’s no one else like me. And to be honest I don’t really care if I can’t text after 11. I don’t care if I can’t look at **** on my computer (not that I would if I could) because it’s blocked. It’s all about the power. They say they can’t stand the Obama family because they make stupid laws about things we should be able to decide for ourselves. But do they even realize that’s what they do to me? Life for real, on school nights I’m rarely up past 10 anyways. It’s pathetic really, how much control they crave to reign over me. I can’t be controlled. I’ve always been a free spirit. I don’t go with the crowd and I don’t care what people think of me. I can take care of myself. No one knows what’s best for me but me. They think the things I do are dangerous, but they’re not. And so what if they were? It’s not like I wanna live a fragile life anyways. I wanna get crazy and wild. Act dumb every once in a while. I wanna be free, I wanna feel alive! I wanna make up silly things and tell pointless lies to giggle about later. I wanna laugh, and I wanna break the rules. I will never conform. I will never be what anyone wants me to be. And I love it. I have one life and I don’t wanna live it how anybody else did. I wanna be remembered. I wanna leave my crazy mark on the world. This life is my only chance to be stupid and silly. And I’m not gonna give that up because my parents (or anyone for that matter) want me to always make the right decisions. I have so much to offer the world and if they can’t look beyond what they don’t like, then so what? That doesn’t make me a disappointment. It doesn’t make me any less beautiful. Their opinions don’t define me. So what if they toss me out~ that doesn’t make me disposable. It just makes them sad and pathetic for not realizing that I truly am a princess. I’m a pop princess. I’m a punk princess. I’m a rock princess. I am the princess of Christ. Shame on them for being embarrassed of me. We’re all made in Christ’s image, and the fact that they’re embarrassed of me, well I think that makes them embarrassed of Christ himself…(jokes, well kinda). So what if they don’t want me around certain family members because they don’t want them to see what a failure I am. But that makes them the failure, not me. I’m the most beautiful person ill ever meet on the inside and out because that’s what I choose to be. Beauty doesn’t just strike people at random, you choose it.