you're sitting on your bed
lights off and
curtains closed and
the carpet illuminated through the cracks in the door
so it's night, but you're not tired, you're not,
you're thinking
daydreaming because your mind is in control
you hope, but its not doing what you want
and everything is falling apart
all frame-shifts and flickers of deleted data
and **** this
because honestly
what's the point.
if it doesn't work then it doesn't work
and you can't fix this, we can't fix this
it's broken and it'll stay that way
don't you dare try and put this back together
you ******
don't you dare
because you put everything into this and i did nothing
i don't deserve you and
you don't deserve this
this shattering illusion of happiness
bright memories and lovely thoughts
because everything is just waiting for the metaphorical black cloud to appear
because everything is just a clusterfuck
of bad emotions
well

well, ****.
this was supposed to go differently, i swear
not in a different direction, just...
just less harsh
see, look at that
i just **** up everything i do
see, this is why this is a problem
see, this is why you need to leave