I’m thinking, contemplating,
Walking in the empty space surrounding me,
I’m twisting, churning, and arching my back.
What to do.
Pulling loose threads off my sweater,
Biting my bottom lip,
I’m sweating, pacing, thinking,
I have a fever.
My fingernails are to the rim,
The anxiety is killing me.
My hair droops to my face, sticking to my soaked skin.
I scratch, voraciously blink,
Looking at the clock,
Where do I start?
Where do I end?
I check my phone.
Zero
I sit on my back with my eyes on the ceiling.
Veins swelling,
Blood rushing,
Palms sweaty,
My stomach aches. My heart breaks.
Is it 5? Is it 10?
My eyes water, my teeth chatter,
There’s nothing else in the world that hurts more than this
Knees trembling, spine tingling, heart skipping,
When will it end?
I start to see my shadow go against me
Why did it have to happen to me?
I fall back and let the words whisper out my mouth,
*****,
I’m still into you.