You have to laugh a little at yourself when you've made so many attempts to appear calm and strong, proficient and valuable. Of course, No one knows about the self-help revolution's expansion on your bookshelf, the super soul Sundays, the power poses, and happiness exercises you commit to mentally.
You try so hard to hide your flaws and bad behavior. It feels so revealing to go out with naked face. You talk alot about Jesus being your savior, there's a desire deep down to feel strentghened and touched and feel loved like that but for some reason you feel like a phony thus underserving. Even though when someone gives you a big tip in East Texas you kinda ponder if God is looking out for you.