a cup of something strong
because i can't be
fingers circling the ring of the cup
wondering if i'll find myself in it
contemplating the crash it would make
hitting the wall
remembering the pressed-together lips and choked back pleases
when i did

it had been a privilege
to be blissfully happy
to be running too fast with you
to have blurring colors around us
to have that giddy feeling in my stomach
to look for a foothold and be delighted
to come up short