I went to church today, sat down and tried to pray. Can't talk to someone who's not there, though I'm told he's everywhere. I want to believe but always fail, lord may strike me down with hail. At least that would be a sign that it's worth believing in the divine. Want to believe there's more to life after death, instead of endless nothingness after your last breath. Many others are blessed with this all powerful being, but I must be blind because he's someone I'm just not seeing. Walked out of church today, feeling no different than yesterday.