I stared down the street as your car gradually faded from my view,
You slowed almost completely to a stop,
And a tiny part of me hoped you’d stay.
But you kept going.

And that’s when I realized as fairytale like as this week had been,
Not everything in life can be a movie.
Even though an hour earlier we were lying in my bed crying,
And you kissed me really, like you were giving me a part of you to keep,
And you looked at me and said,
“I’m going to marry you someday,
And we’ll look back on tonight and it won’t matter.”

And we kept kissing like if we never stopped
Time would
To accommodate us.

And now the next morning I’m in my bed,
Wet face and puffy lips
Trying to forget you were ever here.
But my whole room is falling apart without you.

I woke up and there was puke on the floor next to me.
The lights on my Christmas tree blew out.
My body shook and I watched as the ceiling lights gave up too.

The hardest part was cleaning you up.
I sat in the middle of a ruin of you.
You left a lot here you know.
Four hair ties,
A cell phone cord,
A travel sized mouth wash,
An unfinished can of Coke Vanilla,
And me.

I felt like somehow if I picked up all your things and cleaned my room
It would be easier to forget you were ever here.
But I’m in bed writing this now and I can still see you next to me.
I can still feel your hands rub my neck.
And as I read this,
I can still feel your lips
And smell your perfume.

I took down all of our new year’s decorations.
I put away everything that reminded me of you and I still can’t stop thinking
Maybe if I had just begged a little bit harder,
Maybe if I had shown you how really desperate I was for you to stay,
You would have.

But you left me here in my little life
And my little problems came back
And your face suddenly appeared everywhere
In this little ******* town.
And I now know how perfect life can be with you,
And that makes living a little while longer,
Worth it.