I can't breathe today
or any other.
I haven't been able to
for the past fourteen years.
My throat burns
with what today brought out of me.
I failed.

Failed to tell you that
I'm sick
in the head.
Failed to tell you that
I don't need your help
but I
want it.
I failed to let you know
that I love you
without saying it.
I failed to let you see me
cry.

I wanted to keep it all in but
somehow
it managed to escape,
out my lungs and into the cold
harsh air of
January's reality.
I don't want to face it all
but
you keep on taking off the
blindfold.

These "feelings" make me sick and
all I want to do is be with you.
Be beside you
and
sleep through the night
knowing you're there to hold me
if the room gets too cold.