Down to the docks, every Friday night
Goes a man with a glint in his eye
He says “Gather all around, all you boys and girls,
And I’ll show you how to conquer the sky
Yeah I’ll show you how to conquer the sky
Yeah I’ll show you what your money can buy

“You gotta put your best foot forward
If you wanna go far
Forward like a speeding car
Yeah, forward like a freight train
With fifty cars full of coal
The world’ll try to swallow you whole

“But you gotta keep moving
Keep moving; keep grooving
Dancing to the beat of a thousand drums
A thousand hums
Vibrations; gyrations
Twiddling a thousand thumbs

“Gotta beat out a thousand dum-dums
For your spot on the throne
Way high up on Olympus
Drink your ambrosia Jack!
And don’t ever look back
At that man that you used to be

“Can’t you see?
You’re better than that, now
You’re new, you’re fresh, you’re cool
Too cool for school
Relaxing by the swimming pool
The swimming hole

“Sitting with a fishing pole
Gonna catch the big one
Gonna reel it; keel it
Lug it in and tug it in
And hoist it up over your head
Like the champion you are

“You’re gonna be a real big star
Gonna be one soon
Picture in the paper
Gonna land on the moon
See you later, alligator
Stand up a little straighter

“You need a haircut
You need a new coat
You gotta buy a boat
You gotta buy a car
You gotta buy a big *** pile of gold bars
Buy silver

“Silver, silver, platinum, iron ore
You need that iron core
Get right down to that iron store
Get steel
Get real, get steel
Chromium

“Unlock that inner potential
Go commercial
Get the **** out of residential
Totally existential
Essential
The steps on Jacob's ladder are entirely sequential


“You're gonna be great, kid
And you’re gonna have greatness
And that greatness ain't never gonna wane
Just get on the next train
Get in the fast lane
Go batshit Roman emperor insane

“You’re Nero! Caligula!
I figured a
Guy like you would be sold
It’s stone cold
It’s a deal
It’s a ******* steal

“Don't get it?
Don't sweat it; forget it
It’s not for you if you’re happy with all this
Happy being soaked in blood and sweat and ****
That’s just fine
‘Don’t cast your pearls before swine’

“You drink your watery beer
I’ll drink whiskey and wine
And special French cognac you can only get in Delaware
How can a fella care
With that kind of life?
No worries and no wife

“So get paid, and get laid
And get ready to wade
Knee deep in an ocean of *****
You’re the best
Puff out your chest
And the rest got nothing, absolutely

“Prosecute me, if I steer you wrong
If I appear too strong
Just don’t refute me
But if you want a stroke of luck?
Wanna get ******? get your little **** ******?
Then, first I’m gonna need a buck.”