I dream of a time when I was small
A time where my memories no longer reach
When Memerre was still here
And Jean too
When the weight  of the world was light
And snow fell livid in my soul
I dream of the hazy beach sun and those road trips to Kitty hawk
I dream of the colourful array of pegasi
I dream of spring
A time where Rolo ran beside me in the thick grass
I dream of the house on hollywood with it's two stories and pealing paint
There are flickers in my dreams of Matt who was strong and of the Jeep that kept mommy safe
I dream of a time where I didn't know the meaning of the curses that flew in that house
And a time when they weren't directed at me
And I miss it

I miss it all
I miss not knowing which bottle was filled with beer or understanding why mommy acted funny
I miss not knowing what a **** was or how to make one
I miss when Grandad was around
I miss when Caroline was my baby sitter
I miss Cindy and that pool she took us to
I miss my childhood and I hate that it was taken from me

I hate that the curtain was lifted
I hate that I didn't do anything
I hate what happened to me
I hate what happened to us
I hate what I've become