This one time, my mom and I said goodbye to Juan's mom and we walked from her apartment to wait for the elevator.
Mom didn't like it when I wouldn't stand still- sometimes she'd smack me upside my head just to make sure I was there (accompanied by her motherly calls of malcriado)- so I'd look in any direction for a distraction or two.
Through the window a few feet from my left, I could see two older ladies in curler hairdresses bochinchando like caffeinated hens about the awfully friendly suelta living next door to gallina #1 (they hung their hand-me-down nightgowns and their husband's boxers with such professional care; if any article escaped the grasp of family clotheslines, it was roadkill forever).
I turned to the right of the elevator doors, counted the tar-black patches of decade-old gum on the floor, finished the half-written sentences sprayed in ***** rainbows on the sweaty walls by the zig-zag flight of stairs.
A boom and a click, and the door creaked open with the sideways grace of a crab. My toddler's impatience boiled past the brim, I exclaimed "FINALLY" and began to walk forward.
Not a second later, I heard a "NO" behind me, my mother grabbing the back of my cartoon mouse t-shirt, letting out an ay cono, pendejo that echoed eight stories down, past the empty space substituting for an absent elevator shaft, soaring down that rusty freefall at ten thousand times the speed of a human boy's body.
Letting out a long exhale, my mother did not allow her emotions to brim over the barrier-she recomposed herself, all the while silently chanting hymns of gratitude in dedication to fate and her reflexes.
We decided to take the stairs. In my youthful oblivion, I noticed a toy store right outside the building from the corner of my eye- I plan to start begging when we're at the bottom, if we ever get there.
My mother took her sweet time walking down those many steps, reveled in the scratchy bristle of the concrete against her sandals, cultivated a newfound admiration for my atonal imitation of a Washington Heights car alarm- it was a sign I was still there.
the "n" in "ay cono" is supposed to have that squiggly line you see in Spanish writing. It wouldn't show up here!