It’s 3:08 AM and I’m lying in bed thinking of what could have been,
Wondering whether or not the constellations in the night sky have shifted
And even though they probably haven’t,
I wonder why everything beneath it has changed.
I can’t seem to sleep without these thoughts,
The thoughts of infinity and oblivion,
The feeling of an abysmal eternity,
Consuming me from the inside out.
While everything seems to end,
There’s always something else coming out of it,
Something precious and something extraordinary.
I don’t know when I’ll be at peace with this temporality;
It’s almost as if my mind’s its own universe,
With all the neurons and nerves all interconnected to form blazing suns for other planets
And galaxies too far beyond reach for me to even fathom.
It’s 3:15 now and I’m still wondering how we came to be,
How we got here in the first place,
And I don’t know the answer to my own question.
I want to know why the Creator made me,
Made you,
Made us.
I want to know why He put us here on this god forsaken planet,
And why He deemed it was necessary for us to find a connection within each other,
Underneath all the other galaxies of the universe.
I want to know why,
But He won’t give me the answer either.
It’s been 18 minutes past 3 am,
The hour of which most spirits are awake,
And I’m hoping that I’ll get to cross paths with my loved one once more,
And I’m hoping that you’re up late at night wondering about me too.
I can’t sleep and I don’t know if I want to
Because all I will think about when I close my eyes is how stupid it is that I can’t even answer my own questions
And I can’t even figure out why I was here in the first place
And why I’m so angry at you when I shouldn’t be.
I just want this temporality to cease these unanswered questions and let me go to sleep,
But even I can’t escape from the universe that unravels once my eyes close.