lately my world has come to a halt
and i hold it all in as my own fault
change can be good but deep down I'm scared
I'm scared to think that someone could actually care

Even though I had friends and family growing up
I felt alone, hidden in my head with no one home
I made the dark hole I lay in as I thought my heart was stone, but in the end I'm the one who believed I had nothing to give

in my head I had absolutely no reason to live
but now maybe I have to let go and myself is who I have to forgive, I held hate for far to long sang one to many sad songs, maybe I have to realize that I found a place I could maybe belong

to the girls who helped me change. Thank you I owe everything even when my heart is stained.
I will try to fix the hurt I made, it's weird to think a a few hours of sleep a night 4 months ago was impossible and the possibility of me living past thirty was improbable.

3 grams of caffeine a day is no number for any human to play. the beautiful brown hair girl took it away to think I should stay.  This beautiful girl showed me I deserve to live. maybe I do have more then nothing to give

I am someone, I am more then my designers make and model I'm more then my belly or bad grammar I'm more then the bad things I see and maybe one day I think I can be happy with being me.

to that beautiful brown hair brown eyed girl I love you I'm sorry I put up a fight every night and I pray everyday to see your smile shine bright maybe one day I hope to see your right maybe one day ill actually get to hold you at night