lately i've been gathering my feelings
and have been trying to put them into my poetry
but they don't exactly come out how i want them to

i have words in my mind
but as they process through to my fingers
i, all of a sudden, turn numb
as if the words have frozen in my veins

i wouldn't say i'm depressed
more like a little unsatisfied with the things that have been happening lately
or the things that haven't been happening

and everyone says to stay happy
but it's easy to say that
when you're not the one overthinking every night;
it's easy to say that because you're happy with your own life

but of course i'm not upset that you're happy
for all i know, you probably deserve to be
i'm just sick and tired of hearing that i should lighten up
from people who aren't constantly dodging the darkness
from people who aren't battling between what they want, have and need
and most of all, from people who think they know
exactly what i'm feeling
when they really have no idea

*a