you are sleeping when it happens
bright lights flashing overhead and
the metallic clang over the din of explosions
its brights and it reminds you of a green lawn and
fireworks bursting overhead and you’re about to slip back into that memory
when you remember the scent of blood thick in the air and
the muddy trenches and
the screams
and now you’re frozen
now you can’t move
you’re terrified and lying still
and then
that’s when you hear it, the
grenade, hurdling towards you and
your eyes are shut tight because you didn’t know what you were signing up for
honor and fame,
they said but
you can feel the presence of the explosive
as though it’s the only thing in the world that matters
and suddenly
everything starts to go fuzzy around the edges,
all bloodstains and yells in the night and in the midst of it all
you are dimly aware of the red leaking from your chest and
dribbling out of your mouth

you begin to lose consciousness soon after this
and all you can think of is that you wished you’d seen france,
outside of the war
because you’ve got a family back home, and you’re desperately trying to think of anything
other than this
anything at all
your old house in iowa
roughhousing with your brothers
and now everything really is blurry
outlined in dark, pulsing red and you start to feel warm all over
and you’ve heard about this, you’re dying and
oh, god
oh, god
you’re dying

the world doesn’t stop for you, you can tell
everything keeps on going, the battle around you
soldiers falling into the trenches, blood spurting in all directions and
now,
now you’re calm
now you’re settling back into the mud, breathing still laboured and erratic but the pain’s gone
and all you can bring yourself to think about
is the fireworks
in july
colorful and bright,
you’re in that world when it takes you