we need to build better bridges,
the floods are coming soon,
and sometimes my heart feels empty echoing and doomed,
but lately iv been full with this ache and temptation
to whisper into your lovely ear my hopes for our creation.
listen
I am broken,
I have fallen over sentences I swear I have misspoken
I am a poet tied to a vocabulary dying of deprivation
no i have lived that pain, this must be crucifixion,
my faith in everything was shaking
and now i'm sorting through this rubble thinking...
perhaps this will be my resurrection
this will be my reawakening.
there is a need for me to see,
perhaps a need to remain humbled.
to relearn to juggle knives
just un-jumble.
And grapple with my life so I can comprehend the meaning
Of just breathing
and stop and see me,
For what I am for what I’m being,
For what I say for what you’re seeing and I’m sorry
I’m cut, I’m broken , I’m bleeding, I’m lost misleading
I'm caught red handed freeing all the daemons
I’ve been meaning to deal with,
they spit and spin and grin at this brokenness
I wear
Like my own skin
Covered at the hopes of staying warm but only managing to create a line
Of what’s out there and what’s within,
To thin to keep things straight
I hate feeling this way,
But I love living these things,
And Your pain pains me and
I stay up late thinking you free me, you need me and
Maybe…
Just maybe, simply we are.
And that simplicity has meaning
You are all I could ever want or ask or need to start believing.
I see that we are flying on struggling wings
In violent winds and your hand and my hand
Reach for similar things ..
And I love you I just wanted to say
When I’m broken I just want you to stay,
When I’m sinking…
I’m only thinking of pain
And when I’m with you
You’re the very first ray
Breaking horizon and giving life to new day,
You are second chances and hope,
You are ******* up and inconceivable pain
You are the ticket to knowing I’m alive every day.
Sometimes I cringe
Sometimes I’m wrapped in my own pain and I do things
Dressed as A devil in red,
From your heart Ill break open when the dark sets in,
From the lashes I've spoken with sharp words against soft skin
Quipped to quickly and singed in un-intention
filled with regret.
But we have this whole life to live and its time that we set
Ourselves against the lies we tell
about happiness and pain,
How closely there related and how everything’s the same.
I’m killing expectations leaving them to drown
In the waves of anxious teardrops you leave falling to the ground
So I can tell you from my knees
In hushed tones aimed to feel like desperate please
You will hurt me,
And more than anything I apologize for what falling in love really means.
For the depths of the hurt that will come from these things.
And that you’re welcome for every night I’ll keep you warm,
For all the safety you will gain in the harbor of my arms,
I’m sorry for being overwhelming so much more than we can comprehend
And that more than absolutely everything I love that you’re my friend.
I know I **** the plan up.
I know we have both been lost
I’m sorry that truly loving always comes at such a cost.
But I know that we are worth it if I know nothing else.
You make me feel proud on the days I manage
To love you even more than I can even love myself
Because you deserve to know those things
You deserve to know you count.
You deserve to know I’m sorry because I know I’ll let you down.
You ought to realize I've chosen you to be the one to stay
So I can give you all I’m worth
on the rays of brand new days
And that sometimes when I’m holding you
it makes me want to pray.