And I should be in bed,
Not wanting to sit outside.
Shivering,
Soaking,
Slipping,
Further from sleep.
Tracing questions and thoughts
In the pavement
Below me,
That I shouldn't want
Beneath my feet.

Maybe if I was walking,
Moving
Would be getting by,
Making changes,
Making up my mind.
To walk away,
Not looking out my window
With surprise at the orange lights
I think, really, they're streetlamps
Bringing people home
But, I think they're candles,
Imagining lighting each one
Different prayers-
A hope
We'll be together.

I shouldn't be waking.
I shouldn't be writing.
Even to erase the lines,
Wondering about the depths of your eyes.
Not asking for the rain,
To feel cold enough
To need any arms
Anything
Anyone,
Not just your embrace,
To keep me warm.
I shouldn't be wanting
Anything but rest, alone.