Another day lived drop by drop, I cannot turn to God, how can I stop? Friends family beg alike, Yet nothing compares to those golden drops. Golden amber, bliss frozen into drops. Is this how a mortal feels, Having drunk ichor? By the bottle there is no shame, only pain. I drink a lot not sure if that's new, These few moments of regret with myself, Grace me till I reach the shelf. But when the bottle is open, there is nothing more. Sorrow makes me grip the bottle tight, Despair won't leave me till midnight. Delirium patiently waits, As I drown in the amber fluid. All thoughts of abstinence are crude, I no longer have any pride. All this regret is from a former me, One I can no longer be. Revelation and realization overcome me like a high tide, Sorrow drowns me in its folds. I guess there is no other way yet, So I drink till I choke. Silent stares from my friends, Cut the silence like broken glass. The silent sobs of my mother, Sound so distant. Dampened by the liquor. I despise what I have become, I have lost my own self. Maybe one day I'll be back, Till then I'll drown and hate.