she was the first one.
when i was confused and scared,
i just grabbed her hand
and she said it would be okay.
we spent that summer together.
i wish it was a proper romance.
i think about the lake a lot.
the trees weren't comfortable
and i hated the bugs,
but i loved being with her.
something changed that day,
and i ran away from it.
she was hurt and needed comfort.
i could never offer her support,
even later when other things arose.
i kept on failing and i don't think
she will ever forgive me.
i don't think i'll ever forgive myself.
i constantly feel like i'm going to lose her.
and i don't think i would survive that.
please be considerate enough
to at least say goodbye.