Your sad, heavy eyes were so ******* raw with disappointment
Pathetic arrogance and the naivety clung to your skin
with each day
Every night you close your eyes and dream about a perfect world
Where everyone is happy and you don’t want to wake
Your immediate family hang heavier than the one you were borne into
Blood cannot make up for the bonds you created with that girls no one likes
You look so tired and so beaten on the bus seat in front of me
Your whole slumped posture screamed ‘I don’t want to be a disappointment’
Those words fell into my mouth and sat in my stomach like a bug
Infecting me with the pathetic unconditional love for you
That I thought I had built a wall between
It’s so hard loving you
When your eyes dig deep into my soul with each look
searching for your happiness
Your voice breaks ‘I wish I could have been a better brother’
Every nerve ending in my body is swearing at me to comfort you
I want write down everything I appreciate you for
Every day I’ve woken up a better person
No one is perfect and you found this out
Growing up in our family
The thought of losing you somehow
Makes my bones fracture and my muscles weaken
My mouth runs dry and my tears well up so heavy behind my eyes
I want to sit there and hold you and kiss your scars and
make all the bad things and all the responsibility go away
But instead of this for a split second
I catch my bearings, weakness is bad blood or no blood
‘You’re not’ I reply and I bite my tongue