you feel pianos speaking to your fingers
and i'm afraid to let you slip through mine..
unbearably bare in slow motion,
first our center and then the edges,
your lips soften mine.
warmth: inside, and out,
the energy that travels from the
first kiss through my body, through
my abnormally beating heart, my
sensitive stomach.
i hear words in my mind and
you, melodies,
and this is so scary i'm ready to cry.
precious as we, here, are, now,
i manage to think how i'm thinking all the wrong things, how
i always manage to feel so
insecure at times like these, how
i can so easily f
                            a
                                l
                                    l
                        in
            love
with you, how i shouldn't  because i
                                                                      n e e d               w a l l s , because
mine are missing, how
it's too soon to show you these
words of mine, how
god laughs at me so, now, here, how
am I always so
crazy, so
swept so
easily?

i greatly wish my words were great
because in describing us here, now, i
am losing my senses, i am
losing my thought patterns, i
am afraid of my strong intimacy, i
miss you!
(do you allow me to exaggerate so?) how
Strange how this all came about, how
mystical the world is, how
wonderful that you, too, believe, that
we, together, naïve,
i wait for wiser words,

b r e a t h e

(my worried thoughts pierce such calm,
calculate the ways i fear of letting
such beautiful precious moment:
your lips in slow motion, your
eyes with truthful intensity –
slips through my fingers:
sand so delicate i'm not worthy at all..)..


wiser words do not arrive.
it is me and you, here, now,
and my heart which breathes as if it's drowned,
and melodies i wish i could hear from your soul,
because this irrational pain from such unbelievable joy
makes no clear sense in my mind, my
eyes, my body, my
mind surrender to sleep,
surrounded by your body, your
arms, your breath on my neck, (this for the
first time in a while i let one get
so close), i
sleep softly, safely, i
must have cried in such dreams
that night, and when i
(frequently) awoke (momentarily), i
felt myself smiling although
the words were climbing and i,
silly, now i think, i
did not stir to write them down,
for fear of your disturbance, and
please, when i read you these words at some later moment of ours, if
this is too much for you to grasp,
please,
dismiss my thoughts as
exaggerations, as
no reason to slip through my
longing fingers, because they
want to be with your piano'd ones
and they are most afraid of:

losing

(again)

because they were once told
(when they left a love):
it is only once you've lost all,
that one may truly be free
[and they are tired of such empty freedom]