in response to matthew zapruder's "come on all you ghosts," section ii*
I.
I see what you mean about fathers; lately my father has been the only ghost I know. He mostly stands in doorways, mostly to say goodnight.
II.
Please tell me more about what it’s like to listen to your father cough. Mine never has; I wasn’t even born yet when someone stole his lungs, hid them away in a graveyard.
III.
I think I want a keychain like yours. No not a keychain, but something just as much a corpse. Mostly just a portrait of my father, maybe I’ll take your keychain and onto it I’ll paint the portraits of everybody’s fathers.
IV.
I know I’m being called, but I don’t feel quite like my father yet. There is still so much pavement left for me to see, and one day I want to be able to list all of the names of places that I’ve lived in.
V.
I’ve lived mostly in wombs. Also there was the taxi, and then the apartment skewed with a crib and rats and some gunshots from down the street. Later there was the house by the river, and there was upstate, where they sat in beach chairs in the parking lots of gas stations and watched the cars drive by.