You were like nicotine for a while
you filled me up
and I felt whole
but I didn't think you were toxic
I remember like yesterday
how you took my delicate hand
with boney malnourished fingers
with green and purple veins
and you gently kissed it
and for an instant I was fascinated
But from those couple of seconds
that were called an instant
I became completely infatuated
with my head in cotton clouds
But it's been almost a year
and you've moved on,
onto your next victim
And theres a hurricane of of emotions
because you've informed me
that you are happy and whole
(Which was what I was trying to make you)
but it hurt because it wasn't me making you happy
It was the girl with simplicity stamped on her image
and freckles that you probably enjoyed counting
it was not the millions of pages
I had written to you
trying so hard to make you
love yourself like I loved you
And I still sit and wonder about you everyday
And when the teacher asked
us to write about the best day of our lives
my mind swerved back to you
but I knew that you were a few seats behind
probably writting about your freckled face girl
I still remember
the warm ambrosia
I felt fill me up
like blood in veins
and marrow in bones
when our fingers intertwined
and you stared into my soul
I wonder if she feels
the nicotine and ambrosia too