My mother always used to say things, still does I just listen less.
Bits of advice, good stuff, that she is just a real bad example of,
"Don't bite your nails", while hers were bleeding. "Don't pick
your scabs" meanwhile she was covered in bug bite shaped scars
and generic band-aids, the don't stick kind.

I always had to have short hair, and be clean shaven
because she hates ****** hair and thinks that boys with long hair look queer.
To be honest, I like my hair short but I grow it out to **** her off
and I'm always scruffy but that's just because I'm lazy.

She always told me to "treat people the way you want to be treated",
meanwhile she was rude to the girl at the counter and talked **** behind everyone's
back. We had a talk about this issue one time, it involved a lot of screaming
and a line I half regret saying,  "Mom, I believe you're the one that
taught me "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all"
so why don't you take your own advice and shut the **** up".
Ever since then she has tried awfully hard to be nice,
both to peoples backs and to their face.

That is one thing I've always liked about my Mother, she tries real hard
and loves even harder. She says she is proud of me and glad that I took
her advice to heart. But there is one thing my Mother should have taught me
something she should have mentioned "do as I say not as I do",
guess I just had enough common sense for that one.