someday, you'll understand. the way you don't know how to brush your teeth anymore, or when it's time to bathe. they way you look at others and they seem too fast, their clocks running on fresh batteries. the way you have to psych yourself up for days to mop the floor, or how you need a day or two of rest after 'changes in plans'. the way normal noise seems hap-hazardous and it panics you, heart hammers, teeth grit, and you rocking, murmur ssssssshhh... as if this house was a baby too big to soothe; you standing on the edge of that wavering lip, saying ssssh into that dark expanse of empty, needing mouth: it's hollering and doesn't hear you, doesn't hear you but hears the torment of a needing stomach. You: you stand there with your ******* not big enough to nurse, too empty to satisfy....

....someday you'll understand.