I remember when I was a child,
A child amidst an ocean of rage.
Chaos clouded each step I took,
My emotions drained out of my soul.
I refined my rage, the crimson hate,
I resented Avarice, I had it all.
Fear had abandoned me long ago,
My will was strong, it burned with a glow.
I had abandoned Hope, for its light did not shine for me,
My dark soul saw compassion as a facade,
and Love was always locked away.
The blades of Chaos carved my soul,
its black hands destroyed my heart.
My innocence was lost to all,
Darkness seeped out of me to all near me.
Traitors and backstabbers I met with each day,
I smiled gruesomely as my mind they sliced.
On surface, all hope I had lost,
But deep within, my heart cried out.
I saw anguish and terror dark,
the flames of hell bathed my life.
And finally a day did come,
When in torment, an oath I took.
I promised to play life's game,
I swore to dissolve myself.
I carved a mask of glittering facades,
to hide away my inner self.
For years I lived like this,
shunning emotions and companionship.
I smiled when I cried, drank all my tears,
And tried to do where others had failed.
I was there for all,
A placid smile on my face.
But the fates are cruel,
they had the power to rule and send me back to my hell.
The mask of my facades one day I left,
Unknow to me my heart cried out.
It imprinted itself on the first soul it found,
But ah cruel fates, you had your say!
They crackled in their seats,
For they had the play manned.
They gave me one to love indeed,
But sadly she could not love me back.
Suddenly, my calm broke,
Crimson rage rose up like the blood of a corpse,
I was angry at fate, angry at myself.
Avarice found my heart,
I wanted her happy, I wanted her smiles.
Fear of rejection kept me at bay,
My will to fight gave way.
Cowardly hope claimed my heart,
In the eyes of allies, compassion I found.
Love with a vengenance found my heart,
Suddenly my heart a doeful song did sing.
My eyes sank deep into dark lament,
Chaos saw the doors of my heart open and with me insecure,
overcame me with a chaotic embrace.
In midst of pain and angst,A soothing voice I heard,
The Reaper with his scythe upturned,
called out to me in melodious refrains,
"Sleep with me Adam's child."
He asked of me,
Lay down in the fields of dew.
Drink a brew of hemlock,
And dream in silence, eternal in the lands of death.
My heart, a wounded animal cried,
It thought good of Death's offer.
My mind however lost not its faith,
and cried out to 'Life' to convince me again.
"My dear child" said the white lady,
"Lose not hope in life's turmoil,
I agree you have been witness to pain,
but fear not I will give you your respite.
"Would you listen to this beautiful lie?"
cried Death with his stony voice,
"I never lie but you, child of Adam,
must eventually die."
Anguish filled my darkened soul,
My mind was in torment and made no sense.
I dreamed of Life and that of Death,
but chose to go back again.