Sometimes, it feels as if cigarettes are the only friend who remains loyal,
as if they're the fuel to my garden, a rich deep soil
I crave to be alone, I crave attention too
I jump quite often between the two
from sparkling gold
to drowning blue

Don't tell me when or if I'm right
don't teach me how to soar
My stubborn wings will find their flight
for this masochism I do abhor
but sometimes it feels as if I don't stand a chance
like each single moment is my last time to glance
at grass and at sunshine but who even cares?

these cigarettes hypocratize my words
I cringe when I hear song from birds

Useless. Whining. A waste of space
find a healthier being to take my place
Sometimes, I think who I am and how I behave
clash like flames to tidal waves