she's always acting, acting like no one in particular, just anyone but her self that is. as long as she never seems vulnerable. never lets her guard down, never breaks down her wall, for no one, even if that means lying, conceiving and hurting the ones she love. she'd treat her emotions like buried treasure, lost deep in the depths of the sea, except no one could ever find them no, no not unless they took the time to love her but this life moves by so fast and the clock says I only have 15 minutes to ask you about your day, even though I don't really care. but, I really care. but how do I ask? how do I ask you about something I know nothing about?  Is that something everything, or as she always puts it "nothing"? How does one admit they know nothing about the one they love the most? the interchanging of question and detached teenage answer is pick your poison I guess. If it's not one thing it's another. but...I guess she'll never say that, or there's nothing for her to say. or maybe she and I have something in common...the senseless idea that by stuffing your own emotions deep down in the depths of nothingness that perhaps we are protecting the other person or just...just not causing any more problems..not stirring up any trouble. the moments we share make me feel..make me feel like I know enough or maybe the perfect amount or...what do I ask about ? she...she must think she's in the renaissance or something...cause she appears to be wearing a mask.. disguising who really lies underneath those dark brown eyes. and she seems happy? but then again She...She seemed healthy didn't She? and then...
But...but she..she's happy..she's moved on. She's always smiling right? all she does is crack jokes huh? but.... I don't know..those moments..those moments she gets real quiet and thinks no ones looking or no one knows but the way her eyes close and her breath gets heavy tells me that she has seen hurt well beyond her years. or maybe she's just tired..or stressed out. I always wonder but I never ask... observing her is pointless though isn't it...like trying out someone's taste while their  in a costume. in that moment you won't know...or in her case never know.
she costumes her soul never letting anyone see how beautifully ornamented it is and when it's plugged in she shines brighter than any corny pop song
she glows
but who knows?
does it show?
no, because she never let's any one in to see.
her heart is at the top of the castle except except theirs no Prince Charming or cute ogre on his way to rescue it.
there's not even a mom or a dad...or a "friend" willing to climb the mountain to put her broken life back together again like a puzzle with no picture to indicate what it's supposed to be like because nothing was ideal in the first place
...but it's fine
she says she's okay.
or just maybe no one sees..
maybe she just doesn't know who to be..
how do I know you ask?
that girl is me