I remember when I first met you
I admired you
the way you behaved was so exciting
I had to be a part of it
but I was terrified of doing something wrong
because I was so uncool plain boring

you were the smiths, the who, the beatles
I was whatever was on the radio
I had no appreciation for music or art

after a wild few weeks of an endless summer
we never spoke

then we met again
I was drunk on cheap wine
you were high

we began spending every day with each other
you walked me home

eventually feelings began to grow
you became my boyfriend
I became your girlfriend
but you were older than me
and I was young and confused

our relationship ended badly

after a year of silence
we started to talk again
we were different people
you are the smiths, bob marley, cypress hill
I am blink-182, fleetwood mac, pink floyd

a great deal happened in our year of silence
but I could sense that you had a strong admiration for the person I had become
and when our friend had been stabbed right in front of us
you saw that I was a strong, caring, intelligent young lady

weeks later you had confessed that you had feelings for me
I was already aware of these feelings
(I had taken advantage of them many times)
and you thought that the feeling was mutual

sadly I don't think that I'll ever feel the way I did about you
you changed.

I can only imagine how embarrassed and hurt you must feel
but I can't go through another period of silence
I think that you can

I love talking to you
but I don't love you

I love being with you
but I don't love you

*I don't love you