Father!
Father, I’ll join you!
I’ve brought you wreaths of orchids and daisies to compensate for lost time.
O Father, I am lost without you!
No sense of direction have I.
Left to wander empty fields with an equally empty mind
And expected to get somewhere with it.
How are the cold grounds treating you?
Is Death an ugly, tortured thing? Oh, He never would answer this question for me.
Him. Father, Father, Father – it was He!
He cannot be forgiven. He cannot be loved.
And yet…
Ah, He’s given me no reason to stall. I’ll make haste!
This was not my plan, but without you, I have none.
It makes sense to come with you and follow in your footsteps, which are still freshly pressed in soil.
You were right Father and I was right to listen to you.
I heeded. He only wanted my body. He said himself that he was not worthy.
Why do I conceit of Him still? He is gone. He has left me.
Or have I left Him? O Father, it does not matter, does it?
What’s past is past, and soon I will pass as well.
To fall from a tree as if to fall from heaven.
An angel in mermaid’s clothing.
Let my fin soak in the waters as I sing like sirens do.
And I shall summon Death upon myself, like any self-slaughtering siren would.
And as I went through this phase, I will go through life in song.
Father, I am coming. You won’t have to wait very long.
They will watch me in my unconscious state
And wonder if I left it when my spirit left me.
I am unconscious with you gone.
I will make sure they will see me as I glide and continue to sing strong.
They will not come for me – I am already too far gone.
They will have but one thing to say:
“Alas, then she is drowned.”
And drowned will I be.