I help you through hard times, as you do I But you really don’t know how much I hide Even though we are the best of friends I really don’t think you can understand I can’t bear the hurt, I can’t stand the pain A feeling of numbness I can’t explain.
This is a life in which I walk alone Full of hope shattered and broken Always angry for no reason at all Constantly wanting to end this brawl Fighting with myself again, and again, Sometimes I want this life to end
Mom’s depressed but chooses to hide Takes out her anger on those by her side Doesn’t understand I try to help She shuns me out, and hates instead
Grandma’s enduring an unstoppable fate sickness has gotten her on the plate Its sad to see such an innocent person Become another cancer victim
Too many friends are hurt as well Thinking that their life is hell Too many friends wanting to stop Thinking suicide is the only option
But inside me is the worst of all I don’t know how long I can stand tall Memories of happiness are shooed away But horrible twisted thoughts to stay
Nothing I do can make her proud There’s no silver lining on her clouds I’m a rainstorm filled with dark black skies And a haunting rainfall full of lies I only wish I could make her see I’m trying hard so I can be Someone she that can trust and love Instead she tells me I’m not good enough Everything I do is a wrong decision She constantly tells me I’m not living The path that she truly wishes I’d take But I’m only one big mistake If I could I’d erase myself from here I wouldn’t have to live this fear
I also wish I could be skinny And always happy, fun, and pretty Instead I look at myself in the mirror Disappointed in the reflection that appears It’s hard to live when you don’t love who you are Wishing that you could change it all
Every day I make a mental note How much would I miss, if I decide to go And how much hurt makes me lean towards the edge Is slowly creeping up the hedge How much longer can I last? Before my life becomes one of the past