I'm trying to learn to write when I'm happy.
I know how to write when I'm sad,
it always comes easily then.

I can write about how the skies were cloudy with my thoughts of loneliness.
And how my nights are filled with tears that seem to cloud the whole world while my days are filled with fake smiles.

But I don't know how to write poetry about thoughts filled with dreams and moments spent appreciating how far I've come & the mountains I've learned to climb over.

I think it's because I'm more comfortable writing about being sad.

I know people will accept my sadness with more ease.
After all, no one likes the the overly happy kid.

People will swear up & down it's an act. They'll swear it has to be fake.
I can't actually be this happy and be as sad as I was. they'll say.

But once you've dug you yourself as deep into that hole that you don't even remember what happiness feels like,
when you finally do get out,
that light is the most beautiful, blinding thing you've ever seen.

So I promise this isn't an act, I just don't know how long the sun will last this time and I wanna share it with as many people as possible because who knows who's picking up the shovel to start their own hole.