It's all I can do
To walk into the new year
And pretend that I'm not crawling.
To convince myself
there is nothing that can fracture
a heart of stone.
Not shattered bones
or loose ends,
heaving lungs
or dead friends.
A smile can hide
a plethora of downfalls
but it cannot begin to fade
the way we are addicted
to the taste of our sorrows,
our lips drenched in the familiarity
of half dreams.
I am choking on air
before I can choke back the tears
and my hands
still aren't used
to the emptiness.